5 things I hate about trees

1 - While it is nice to sit under a tree, it makes you an easy target for perched birds to crap on you and squirrels to drop nuts on you.

2 - Raking leaves.

3 - I don't know if this is still the case, but out of nowhere one day people started referring to pot as "trees." I found this to be incredibly moronic and annoying.

4 - The giant talking trees from lord of the rings. I. HATE. THEM.

5 - A tree killed my very first car. I bought my mother's volkswagen jetta from her when I was a senior in high school. I had it for about 2 months when a hurricane blew through our town, picked up a tree, and landed it right on top of my fucking car. I had just put $1500 worth of work into it too. the tree cut it in half. I guess I should technically hate the hurricane for this, but for the sake of this post - fuck you trees.